I’m itching all over

Just when I thought things were under control for a while, I get a text from my sister, “Darla says she has bedbugs.” Well, this is a first. I’m a nurse, and I deal with disgusting every day, but I draw the line at insects. Lightning bugs, butterflies, and sometimes lady bugs are ok, but all the other bugs are disgusting. Top of the disgusting list are bedbugs. Centipedes are probably second. Well, probably roaches would be second. But then there are scorpions. I digress.

One of the worst parts of this is that I was at the apartment a week ago to let her dog outside because she had landed herself in the hospital for observation with dizziness. I didn’t sit on anything, or stay long, but my purse was on the couch.

I had gotten a text from Darla yesterday morning:

Darla: RU working?

Me: yes, what’s up

Darla: need some stuff from the store

Then several hours later, my sister tells me about the bedbugs…

Me: Karlie told me what was going on. Would have been nice to have a heads up since I was there twice last week.

Darla: I just found out. And I texted you first. I need stuff to spray and I have to wash all my clothes. I’ve already thrown some things out. [*more than likely, one thing that she saw a bug on went in the trash which hasn’t been emptied in a month. Never mind the waist high piles of clothes, books, and other dollar store garbage. This is not an exaggeration, I was just there last week.]

Me: I think you need to have an exterminator come because they’re very difficult to get rid of.

Darla: o relly? I sprayed them with Off bug repellent [not a sponsor. yet.] and they died

Me: They have eggs

Darla: do u know the incubation period?

Me: [how the fuck would I know?] Google says 1-2 weeks, 30 days to adulthood, life span 6-12 months

Darla: uh oh, big car accident on the bridge.

Darla: [5 minutes later] West bound lane closed.

Darla: [10 minutes later] one lane of east bound closed now

Darla: [25 minutes later] looks like 4 cars involved. East bound open now. West bound still closed.

Nice segue to change the subject Ms. Eye-in-the-Sky traffic reporter. How’s that clean-up going? I give up.

I came home, had a drink, ate fried Mexican food, and had nightmares about bugs.



One thought on “I’m itching all over

  1. Off to a great start Elle! Very entertaining and disgusting! I really like your writing voice and your style. Keep up the good work!


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